Monday Observations:

Monday Status report:

Dear Corporate Overlords:

The printer you sent me sucks balls….sorry to be blunt but damn it… really?

You might as well have sent me a fricken stone tablet and a chisel. WTF?

Does your cousin work at HP or something? Nothing else could explain this crap.

Dear Flight Security Experts (that’s you TSA):

The new flight security rules are super stupid.

You might as well just knock us all out before a flight and wake us up afterwords. Face it all this other crap is just bullshit… sorry but true.

Can’t talk now, have to run. I am going out to buy stock in anesthetics.

To Whom It May Concern at the local building department:

Having to pull a permit for a new water heater is really gay.

My apologies to the gay community.

Your automated phone system sucks.

I am about to change my mind about telling you, where is the f’n form for that?

Hey dumb ass person in line in front of me at Fed Ex.

I only have a thousand things to do, so feel free to bring in a ka-jillian unboxed packages. Oh and thanks for having the nerve to ask me to help you schlep your crap up onto the counter. Loose Fliers? Really?

Dear person who invented Wii Boxing:

I hate you.

You are fricken awesome.

You suck.

No seriously, boxing is awesome.

Dear lottery gods:

A couple of numbers might be nice, just to keep me hooked.

Just a thought as I have kind of lost faith.

Dear inventors of the Calendar:

What are you? Aztec, Egyptian, Sumerian?

More like sadistic. Who the F invents a Monday on purpose?
Hi Mr. Dickey McDickerson:

Thanks for proving you a Dick in more than name.

You’re the only one *today * that lied to me and offended me in one conversation.

You are special aren’t you?

End of Monday observations.