Asshole Parking

In my younger and more vulnerable years my father gave me some advice that I've been turning over in my mind ever since.

"Whenever you feel like criticizing any one," he told me, "just remember…Just you don’t park like an asshole.”

Now that I am older I realize bad parkers fall into two categories: Stupid or Assholes. I really have a hard time putting up with either. If you are so stupid to park that way then you are too stupid to drive. If you have to take up two spots so your precious car won’t get scratched, you should be flogged and your car should be taken away.

I know it is not your fault, you were dropped on your head, and you did not have someone to tell you it’s only a car. Apparently no one taught you any better.

So for all of you fatherless bastards driving out there just remember…. Don’t park like an asshole.