An open letter to Prickly Pear restaurant, Ann Arbor, its patrons, et al.

To Whom It May Concern:

While no person can argue that dinner should be a relaxing enjoyable event… last Saturday night 3/8/08 was one of the worst dining experiences I have EVER had in Ann Arbor. Barb, Chelsea, and I went to have a simple dinner at a great place. It was not the food,that was actually great. Not the service that was quick. No it was none of that. It was the patrons.

The problem is the place is not big to begin with, and when you place people in seats and they refuse to acknowledge others are waiting for tables it is not just rude it is inexcusable. The offending people fall into two categories, one only slightly more loathsome than the next.

First there are the people who have no clue. Sure you have a table, so after that nothing else matters right. I know you are done, you have been nursing that water for 30 min and your leftover box was on the table before were got here. You really have not clue do you. Your particularly pensive server is practically plowing a path in the plywood pacing back and forth asking over and over if there is anything more they can get you pathetic prick. Your particular pedantic pontifications don’t matter, please give someone else a chance to eat, and let your poor server please turn more than one possible table you pustulant boil on the posterior of society. People are waiting outside in the cold, wake up you putz.

The second and more pathetic type is the people are who do know they are holding up everyone but don’t care. The have never pondered past their particular post. You are not special, you are positively pedestrian. I know you probably went to U of M and you are an Ann Arbor native, but get off you ass you primordial puddle of pustulant puke. People don’t care that you think you are better than everyone else; your check has been on you Table for an HOUR. A FREAKING HOUR, any longer and you will have to get mail forwarded. I am glad you are happy, you pea brained pachyderm.

So all I can say is: Prickly pear proved positive a pocket of pompous people packing a particular premises could turn a pleasantly pedestrian plan into a perturbing purgatory of preposterous proportions. Thanks people, you suck.