WTF- I disabled myself sleeping

OK I know I am getting older but this is ridiculous.

The other night, I slept wrong and somehow I pulled a muscle in my upper back/shoulder. It. Is. Killing. Me.

Just to get this straight: I practically disabled myself... while sleeping.

NOT while fighting of a bear. Or climbing a mountain. Or chopping down a tree with an axe... no.... I did it while sleeping.

What. The. F? what is next... I am going get a hangnail and bleed to death? Get a sliver need a transplant?

Thats it I have to go drink some raw eggs and count my chest hairs. Five more minutes of this shit and I am going to dislocate my shoulder on purpose just to make myself feel better.

Damn it.