Vapor Life

Vapor life... My life as it is, as it should be. *********************************************************************************************************** Life is something that happens when you can't get to sleep. Fran Lebowitz (1950 - )

Monday, January 31, 2011

Mother Nature may look beautiful now...

But by Tuesday she is supposed to take a big swipe at us. They are calling for up to a foot of snow.

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Saturday, January 29, 2011

Ride through the streets....

Ride your ATV through the the summer and you are a menace. One that is subject to a ticketable offense.

Slap a snow plow on that puppy in the winter and you are a snow moving god with traffic law impunity.

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Friday, January 28, 2011

Decorating: Yes its just a silly re-post.- but its funny as hell

My Girl is a decorating juggernaut. On top of that , she is pretty freaking good at it.
That being said... I can relate the to following on a purely theoretical level.

Check it out *here* at cracked .com:


Decorating is the most common form of DIY. Normally kicked off by the frustrated nesting instinct of the wife, it usually results in the complete destruction of the room by the husband, and the disbanding of the marriage by the judge.

How could you paint the bathroom New White when you knew I wanted White Tie? How?!

Because they look the fucking same

Choosing the correct paint color is essential to tying the room together. However, for the uninitiated, the range of colors can be overwhelming. This is often compounded by the bizarre names companies give their paints, presumably in order to trick panicked men into buying sixteen different shades of white. Names like:

Mouse's Back

Elephant's Breath

Dead Salmon

Sticky Fingers

Read more:


List of random driving errors that bother me (even though they probably shouldn’t):

List of random driving errors that bother me (even though they probably shouldn’t):

1) When there is 50 f’n open spaces in the parking lot WHY do you have to park right next to my vehicle. Really? Right next to it so your kid can throw open the door and hit mine? Thanks Ass Hat. You are just slightly better than the douche that parks his POS sideways in two spots. Just slightly.

2) Use you blinker, when its needed. Look its not that hard. You are pulling out on to a road, its snowing other cars are merging. IF YOU USE YOUR BLINKER I CAN TELL WHAT DIRECTION YOU ARE TURING. Instead I have to wait for you to turn and since you were turning the other way I just waited here for 10 min for nothing. Thanks Jack Hole.

3) Don’t use your blinker… when its not needed. Forget about that old lady driving down the highway for 50 miles, when you already half way though your turn, ITS TO LATE TO USE YOUR BLINKER. Think about it… I can tell you are turning by the fact you are ALREADY IN SOMEONE ELSES LANE. Nice going super dork.

4) Why do you loose your mind once it snows. Its MICHIGAN its going to snow here. You likely know this. Let’s not panic when it does please. One flake of snow and you are crossed eyed and licking the glass. WTF.

5) Pull up already. You might be the second car form the intersection, but if you could pull your head out of your ass long enough to realize that you have 20 cars behind you it might just occur to you that that 30 feet of empty space in front of you means someone behind you cant pull forward or is stuck in an intersection. I if you look around there are other people on the road, lets have a little situational awareness please. Really you need to get it together.

Thursday, January 27, 2011

I have been off the Mark all Day....

Things I have learned today:

1) I'm going to Screama if I have to call FEMA again. Seriously. I don't like them.

2) No matter how mad you think someone will get, they can always take it to a newer, more vein bursting level.

3) As f*d up and complicated as you think the problems its probably way worse then you thought. No really from where you are at, you cant even see the real problem yet.

4) If you automate a maddeningly complicated process, when something goes wrong it will seriously blow up. Like death star, planet destroying blow up. Automation means you do loose some measure of control, just remember that.

5) The higher up a person is in the decision making process, the less likely they are able to make a decision that makes sense more then 1 foot away from a ledger sheet.


Tuesday, January 25, 2011

I cant keep up with all the new polices at work:

Like most places, some of the new polices seem to make more sense than others.

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Monday, January 24, 2011


How have I not seen this before: is not just funny, it hilarious. Here is a little snippet:

(subject: The School Bus)

…Suffice it to say, the bus was ruled by the law of the jungle: only the strongest and fastest survived. My generation never stormed the beaches of Normandy or got drafted to fight communism, but on that Twinkie-shaped nightmare we waged our own private Vietnam…

Yep... that's pretty much how I remember it.


Sunday, January 23, 2011

Shop Time: My Niece’s project Box.

It was a good weekend... I did some work at the rental, but little else of what I had planned but you know what that is alright.

I did get to spend some time in the shop and this is good because I have several projects backed up.

A couple of weeks ago I started this project box for my niece.
Here it is with the inner shelf I made for her to organize her supplies and what not.

I need a front latch, a little bit more sanding, then ready for finish.

I am beginning to like this simple box. Hope she likes it as well.


Thursday, January 20, 2011

Jell-O makes everything better

Its somewhat unsettling how happy Jell-O makes me.

Must be a childhood memory thing.

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Wednesday, January 19, 2011

Overheard last night at home: dumb Man edition.

Sometimes I say things.

Sometimes I think about things.

Often those things do not happen at the same time.

Last night was a good example.

(the girl enters the room after working out)

What I said:

“Those shorts look funny.”

What I meant to say:

“Its funny to see shorts in the middle of winter.”

What I should have said:


What I have learned:

I really need to shut up more. Lets face it though I not that good at learning these type of lessons.

Next week:

Stay tuned for other non-verbal reasons I am an asshole.


Tuesday, January 18, 2011

The Milky Way might be surrounded by invisible dark matter galaxies- and other reasons you should be freaked out.

Not sure what all this means but if you did not have enough to be worried about already here are a few more things to make you think.

1)Based on how gravity affects the gases at the edge of our galaxy, we should have a satellite galaxy located about 26,000 light-years away...except nobody's ever seen it. This might be because it's composed almost entirely of dark matter.

2) The most dangerous animal in the world is the common housefly. Because of their habits of visiting animal waste, they transmit more diseases than any other animal.

3) The temperature can be determined by counting the number of cricket chirps in fourteen seconds and adding 40. Its freaking true.

4) According to Seth Rogen ( I know Seth Rogen) Geroge Lucas is convinced that the world will end in 2012 Who else would know right?

5) Never mind clean water or oil... the world is running out of Helium. (honestly)


Usefulness of fingers in traffic

Thanks GraphJam for summing up my morning so succinctly.

Ice = Slow down not freak out people.

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Monday, January 17, 2011

I thought I forgot my camera tonight at the park...

I thought I forgot my camera tonight at the park...

but really it just reminded me that I should be able to draw. At least a little.

Here is the moon peaking though the trees in the woods tonight best I could remember anyway.

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Its the Auto Show:

This week all eyes are on Detroit as the North American International Auto Show is in town.

This year as the auto industry is in its comeback infancy everyone seems to be on the band wagon as attendance is up and exhibitors (that I shall leave nameless) seem to be creeping back into the show. I am not saying they are fickle, but if the whitewall fits.... *cough-orshe-cough*

Really that is a good thing, so I do not mean to imply otherwise.

It is just good to see some good press for the "D" as short lived as it may be.


Back to the river:

Back to the river:

It was a long weekend.
It was a short weekend

It was still light out
but we were in the season of cold and darkness.
We had everything to do
We had nothing to do

In short it was so far from the summer that I could only barely ignore my nosiest memories of warmer times.
For good or for evil, we have months more of winter left.


Friday, January 14, 2011

Astrology Is Still Bullshit and the Universe Doesn't Care About You (caution repost)

Astrology Is Still Bullshit and the Universe Doesn't Care About You


Thanks to Gizmodo for this one!

See the post *here* or

What made me laugh my ass off was that SECOND vid becase that was EXACTLY my reaction. You can see that one *here*.

So wait… I am am a LEO now…. Bullshit!

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Things I WILL do before I go to the Colonnade in Ann Arbor at lunch time again:

Things I WILL do before I go to the Colonnade in Ann Arbor at lunch time again:

1) Chew my own arm off at the elbow.

2) Volunteer for experimental elective surgery.

3) Request an IRS audit.

4) Cover myself in chum and go snorkeling in shark infested waters.

5) Drink crushed glass through a fiberglass straw while sitting on a bed of nails.

I don’t want to say the parking is bad there but I have witnessed grown men break down in frustration.

I don’t want to say its crowded but its like going the beach in Qingdao Huiquan China.

I'm not saying its any annoying experience but I would rather go to a Beiber concert.

I don’t want to say the line for food at Panera was long, but it made the airport seem like fun.

*sigh* OK that’s enough… back to work.

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I guess I am not the only one tired of the cold and snow.

The truth of the matter is that we have not been that bad snowfall wise anyways. It has been cold as hell (for lack of a better word) but in the south where they are not used to the snow and the east where they have been hammered.... I guess you could say they have it worse then us.
Check out this hi-res satellite image of the snow on the ground and look how far south it STILL is courtesy of the weather channel.

Click to enlarge or click *here* for the image source.


Wednesday, January 12, 2011



(this was emailed my way today, thought it was interesting enough to pass on)

1. Of course I look familiar. I was here just last week cleaning your carpets, painting your shutters, or delivering your new refrigerator.

2. Hey, thanks for letting me use the bathroom when I was working in your yard last week. While I was in there, I unlatched the back window to make my return a little easier.

3. Love those flowers. That tells me you have taste... and taste means there are nice things inside. Those yard toys your kids leave out always make me wonder what type of gaming system they have.

4. Yes, I really do look for newspapers piled up on the driveway. And I might leave a pizza flyer in your front door to see how long it takes you to remove it..

5. If it snows while you're out of town, get a neighbor to create car and foot tracks into the house. Virgin drifts in the driveway are a dead giveaway.

6. If decorative glass is part of your front entrance, don't let your alarm company install the control pad where I can see if it's set. That makes it too easy.

7. A good security company alarms the window over the sink. And the windows on the second floor, which often access the master bedroom - and your jewelry. It's not a bad idea to put motion detectors up there too.

8. It's raining, you're fumbling with your umbrella, and you forget to lock your door - understandable. But understand this: I don't take a day off because of bad weather.

9. I always knock first. If you answer, I'll ask for directions somewhere or offer to clean your gutters. (Don't take me up on it.)

10. Do you really think I won't look in your sock drawer? I always check dresser drawers, the bedside table, and the medicine cabinet.

11. Here's a helpful hint: I almost never go into kids' rooms.

12. You're right: I won't have enough time to break into that safe where you keep your valuables. But if it's not bolted down, I'll take it with me.

13. A loud TV or radio can be a better deterrent than the best alarm system. If you're reluctant to leave your TV on while you're out of town, you can buy a $35 device that works on a timer and simulates the flickering glow of a real television. ( Find it at ... )


1. Sometimes, I carry a clipboard. Sometimes, I dress like a lawn guy and carry a rake. I do my best to never, ever look like a crook.

2. The two things I hate most: loud dogs and nosy neighbors.

3. I'll break a window to get in, even if it makes a little noise. If your neighbor hears one loud sound, he'll stop what he's doing and wait to hear it again. If he doesn't hear it again, he'll just go back to what he was doing. It's human nature.

4. I'm not complaining, but why would you pay all that money for a fancy alarm system and leave your house without setting it?

5. I love looking in your windows. I'm looking for signs that you're home, and for flat screen TVs or gaming systems I'd like. I'll drive or walk through your neighborhood at night, before you close the blinds, just to pick my targets.

6. Avoid announcing your vacation on your Facebook page. It's easier than you think to look up your address.

7. To you, leaving that window open just a crack during the day is a way to let in a little fresh air. To me, it's an invitation.

8. If you don't answer when I knock, I try the door. Occasionally, I hit the jackpot and walk right in.

Sources: Convicted burglars in North Carolina, Oregon, California, and Kentucky; security consultant Chris McGoey, who runs and Richard T. Wright, a criminology professor at the University of Missouri-St. Louis, who interviewed 105 burglars for his book Burglars on the Job.

Here are two tips that you CAN do that you might not have thought of....

(keep in mind I don’t recommend, endorse, advocate, or in any way suggest that you do these things, just passing on some info)

If you don't have a gun, here's a more humane way to wreck someone's evil plans for you.


The wasp spray can shoot up to twenty feet away and is a lot more accurate, while with the pepper spray, they have to get too close to you and could overpower you. The wasp spray temporarily blinds an attacker until they get to the hospital for an antidote. She keeps a can on her desk in the office and it doesn't attract attention from people like a can of pepper spray would. She also keeps one nearby at home for home protection. Thought this was interesting and might be of use.

Put your car keys beside your bed at night

If you hear a noise outside your home or someone trying to get in your house, just press the panic button for your car. The alarm will be set off, and the horn will continue to sound until either you turn it off or the car battery dies. This tip came from a neighborhood watch coordinator. Next time you come home for the night and you start to put your keys away, think of this: It's a security alarm system that you probably already have and requires no installation.

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Just Cool: Romantically Apocalyptic

I stumbled across a certain web comic called romantically apocalyptic about the adventures of two dudes in a post nuclear holocaust that I find intriguing. It includes a lot of cool things : Aliens, monsters, misguided survivors and maybe best of all irreverent and almost over the top sarcasm.

I have to say hit the link *here* to see one of my favorite panels and peruse around a bit when you have some time to kill.

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Tuesday, January 11, 2011

To the Ass Hat who is dumping furniture by our dumpster

To the Ass Hat who is dumping crappy furniture by our dumpster.


Most people who use are dumpster illegally at least get it into the dumpster.

If I find out who you are I am going to take a dump on your face.

You have been warned.


Monday, January 10, 2011

Some assembly required, and other reasons the treadmill almost killed Sunday.

Sunday should have been a great day. On paper it was. I had a good morning. Went to shoot some sporting clays. Did a few things around the house. Ran the dog. You know the usual.

It really was not a bad day. It just seemed more or less pedestrian.

What really made it go south was throwing in a new treadmill that the Girl wanted.

I can’t begrudge her for wanting a new one, she deserves it. She also paid for it, so it’s her prerogative. Nor can I even begin to blame her for anything that happened post purchase. It is just that Sunday night is not the best time to start a 2 hour assembly of parts and instructions so heinously written that it must have been produced as a form of torture. I really should have known better.

How hard could it be, I thought.

If the instructions were not enough to make it a challenge, the rest must have been thrown in to crush a mans soul. It was pile of questionably fitting parts, less than accurate tolerances and sadistically placed pieces and an assembly of diagrams that looked like a map to downtown Beijing. A perfect mess of routing of wires and knuckle busting nuts and bolts and fasteners of all kinds.

By the time I knew what I was into, it was too late.

Dinner was delayed, and the hunger just proved an ally to the machine feeding off of and wicking away what little patience I had left. In the end it was only my sheer stubbornness the made me complete the task. It was done and working when I left but it may have been a pyrrhic victory as the toll on the evening was taken and the mood had shifted. I had truly won the battle but lost the war.

The rest of the evening never fully recovered.

Would I have done things differently? I would like to think so but I doubt it. The machine had won but I don’t really learn from my mistakes very well. At least these kind of lessons. In then end it is my realization that this is likely a lesson I will have to learn over and over again that is most perplexing and maybe speaks more about me than I would like to admit.

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Ann Arbor is changing so rapidly... its hard to keep up

Not sure Kerrytown will be the same with out Eve.

Also Fox's Tent is closing... its been there forever soon it will not be.

So very sad.

Thanks to and the twitter feed to keep us all up to date on the sad news.


On a random note: Inglorious Bastards

Why is it that in the movie Inglorious Bastards, when they are speaking French and it it subtitled in English when they say “oui” it comes across as “oui” and not “yes” ?

It is because we are all supposed to know what “oui” means?

I mean we do but its kind of the principal of the thing.

Good movie though.

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Saturday, January 08, 2011

Shop time

A project box for my niece is coming together. This will be for
holding her crafting supplies.

While we are still braving the cold temps

Chelsey is enjoying winter in southern France.

Thursday, January 06, 2011

Now that your holiday guests are gone...

Thanks to the Onion for this one.

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If I seem distracted its because on top of the normal crap I do, I am trying to keep one eye on all the new tech news pouring out of the Consumer Electronics Show in Vegas.

Its a deluge of geeky goodness.

Check out some of the news *here*

Good luck digesting it all.

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Winters back with snow...

Winters back with snow

Mocking me with frozen ire

Spring too far away


Tuesday, January 04, 2011

Reason I love technology #8976:

Ability to watch movie and football game(s) on ESPN3 in real time on the laptop AT THE SAME TIME.


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Saying goodbye

To Chelsey. She is off to France to study for the semester.

Things I have already witnessed this new year:

(actually witnessed on the first day)

1) Indian summer (it was 52 deg on new years day)

2) Random woman stuffing my neighbors Christmas tree into the back of her station wagon (after left out for curbside recycling)

3) The complete break down of a once historic football program.

Its going to be a weird year.

Update #1 : Our Christmas tree is now missing as well….

Update #2 : OK winter is back with a vengeance.


Monday, January 03, 2011

I was powered down for the weekend....

I was powered down for the weekend.... but now I am back.

Stay tuned for some more posts.


Saturday, January 01, 2011

MGOBLUE: Michigan vs. Mississippi State

Welcome to 2011 and The Gator Bowl.

With post season excitement running high the first day of the New Year promises to bring a great contest.

This will be the first meeting between Michigan and
Mississippi State. The Wolverines have a 23-5-1 all-time record
against Southeastern Conference schools and are 7-3 in bowl

With the recent return to the post season and all the turmoil in the Michigan football program a Win here is almost a requirement on every Wolverines new years wish list.

Today in the Swamp the Wolverines will meet Mississippi State with Bulldogs favored by 4 ½ pts but as I have always said anything can happen in college ball. Intangible things like heart, and pride in your program can make good players incredible. It can also mean that any small mistake can spiral out of control.

Today, in the Swamp, these two teams will meet for the first time. Only time will tell who will walk away in triumph and who will walk away on the losing end.
I am just looking forward to a great contest, but I would talk a win all day long.